Time doesn’t stand still, so why should you? Every day we are faced with new challenges, your emotional state can change from moment to moment; a conversation or a news channel can make us feel destabilised, triggered, fearful and powerless. But darling, you CAN get back on track, you don’t have to feel bad until tomorrow or wait for new year’s etc. It’s all within your control how long you feel bad for. Now I’m not saying it’s easy, it takes work and practice, but as the creator of your own reality do you really want to waste time feeling bad? Dear heart, you are not who you were 10 years ago, last year, even this morning. So why wait to feel better?
Let’s be honest, most of us are glad 2020 is behind us. It tested us beyond the limit, with many of us uncovering truths and blind spots about ourselves, even friends and family members etc., that felt too much to bear at times. Many spent time hiding, crying, breaking down, wanting to give up; feelings and old behaviours scratched their way back to the surface. Speaking for myself, some very difficult issues that I thought I had been delt with years ago and long gone, reared their nightmareish faces once more. I was almost convinced that I was mad, back in the depths of my darkest moments. There were points during last year, in this inner war, where I screamed inside my head “I thought I’d changed!”
However, at last it became clear that of course I had changed. This was just a test, my brain tapping into the old conditioning to see if I was indeed aligned with the paradigm shift that’s taking place in our times. 2020 gave us a lot of time be with ourselves, to be present in the now, and to have a go at living without the distractions (AKA conditioning) that often blocks us from feeling what we really feel and therefore authentic growth. In my case, I discovered that the old programming simply did not fit with the ‘new me’ but I was struggling because I had not yet filled the space. This dragged on longer than I wanted it to, but this episode taught me a lot about what I don’t want in my life, therefore the takeaway was I NOW KNOW WHAT I DO WANT! Choosing to learn from your troubles can help you to navigate your way around depression, anxiety etc. and pave the way for growth.
Of course it can be comforting to have a benchmark, especially when right now is not going well or to plan. When you’re in something it can feel all-consuming and overwhelming, like drowning. Absolutely, tomorrow is a blank slate and full of possibilities, but THE POWER OF NOW is also potent; moment to moment also has its own seed of promise. Sometimes we think we will wait for tomorrow because we don’t really think we can do it now; secretly we don’t really believe we will do it tomorrow either – but YOU CAN DO IT, now and tomorrow and going forward.
Some people say: “Tomorrow’s another day” or “Next month… I’ll start on 1st .” Sometimes we can think that tomorrow we will have more courage, or if wait for next month or a new year it will click somehow, and there is nothing is wrong with any of that. I just want to point out that ‘right now’ and “one day at a time” is perfectly fine too. At any given moment you can surrender, put the past behind you and say: “I CAN LET GO AND MOVE ON RIGHT NOW.” Yes the negative thing happened and it has upset you, that’s a fact, but how you react and how you let it affect you is up to you. There is an art to it, for sure, so take your time if this is new to you.
If something feels too big you can always talk to a therapist, I offer free consultations to all wanting to make a change or help, but finding the right fit for you is vital.
Whether you want to make a change, break a habit or something else, there are a number of ways you can do this.
- Talk to a therapist
- Go for a walk
- Get out in nature
- Break the routine
- Take a nap
- Meditate / pray
- Burning sage / cleaning a space